Widows And Widowers: Should We Just Date Each Other? | HuffPost
I rushed into dating far too quickly after my husband George died. I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. I waited Widower or widow? Dating after a loss? EliteSingles is here to help you find love again, at your pace. Want to meet singles who understand? Start here. At eHarmony, we believe that happy relationships can only be found when people are ready. We are more than just a dating site, we find compatible matches for.
When they slip into present tense talking about their spouse, then correct themselves, I remember how often I've done that. When they talk vulnerably about their grief, I know I can do that, too.
When they laugh and talk about their future changes they want to make in their lives, I know what it took to get to that point.
How to Date Widows & Widowers
How long does it take to be ready to date? Don't judge us if we think we're ready, then realize we're not.
We're not grieving for a time, then suddenly done with grief -- it's a spiral: We can feel that we're truly ready to date, and then we're struck down by missing our beloved powerfully.
And if you date a widow or widower, please don't worry that you're in competition with his or her perfect spouse. Don't expect us to take down all the photographs or hide the urn. Though once you get to bedroom status, I think you're within your rights to ask that the wedding photo be turned away from the bed.
You're not in competition with our memories. Understand that there will always be that layer of memories and love, and accept that part of us. It shows that we know how to love.
Only you can decide when is the right time, and testing the water could be the only way of finding out. Those ready to find love again have a number of websites and apps at hand Credit: Meanwhile, broader popular dating sites such as eHarmony also cater to those who are ready to find love again.
We caught up with Abel Keogh, author of Dating a Widowerto seek advice for those returning to the dating world and to hear about his own personal experiences as a widow.
10 dating tips for widows and widowers
Why did you start writing about dating for widowers? What I was writing about apparently resonated with readers because I started getting emails from women who were searching for advice about the widowers they were dating. I put my personal experience and recurring issues I saw in the emails into my first book, Dating a Widower.
When I first started dating I was looking for someone who was similar to my late wife both in looks and interests. Once I did, the dates went better and it was easier to open my heart to those who were very different. They view the loss of their spouse as a problem that needs to be fixed and see dating and relationships as the best way to mend their broken hearts.
Most get their lives and hearts in order before testing the dating waters. They tend to experience similar issues and emotions and make the same mistakes.
How to Date Widows & Widowers | Dating Tips
I was widowed in my 20s and I see widowers in their 30s, 40s, 50s and older making the same mistakes I did. That is, we just start dating because we want companionship, not a relationship. I went on my first date about four months after my late wife died.